Another one thats really old but all the same good fun! Heres mine for you all, try it yourself if you like by clicking the link down the bottom of this post!
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Jerry: Tonight on the Jerry Springer show we have a particularly interesting episode! Leanne is here to finally confess something to a long-time friend of hers, Louise. So everyone please put your hands together for Leanne.
Jerry: Okay, now Leanne you're here to talk about someone aren't you?
You: Yes.
Jerry: And what is this other persons name?
You: Mark.
The crowd SQUEALS with delight.
Jerry: Okay, okay, well Mark, is actually here tonight -
The crowd SQUEALS.
Jerry: But first we have a surprise for you Leanne, because as it happens there is someone else here to see YOU! So let's bring out... Amy !
You: What the HELL!!!
Out of nowhere you pull out a giant bunny. Amy reaches for the chair. Out of the shadows Taffie appears.
Taffie: Wait everybody wait!
Jerry: Yes, everybody let's just calm down for a moment here. First tell us why you're here Amy .
Amy : Because I saw Leanne and Taffie making out in the Coffee Shop!
The crowd goes absolutely INSANE.
Taffie: That's a lie! I was home watching The simpsons!
Jerry: (raising his hands) Hold on, hold on, I'm missing the problem here...what exactly IS the problem Amy ?
Amy : Because I've recently been taking part in a sexual relationship with Louise who has recently become engaged to Taffie.
The crowd hollers, screams and whoops in an orchestra of orgasmic excitement.
Jerry: Okay, okay. Well why don't we bring Louise out here because Leanne had something that they needed to tell them anyway about... Mark. That's right!
Louise: (enters onto stage and saunters over towards you) What's the deal? I saw you outside getting it on with Mark! You know how I feel about Mark!.
Taffie: (screams) What? Why the hell did you ask me to marry you if you're in love with Mark!
Louise: Because I knew that I could never have Mark. But Leanne promised me that they'd never hook up out of respect for my feelings!
Taffie: What about respect for MY feelings!
Amy walks suddenly across the stage, embracing Louise.
Amy : Don't worry baby, you don't need any of them now that you have me.
Again the crowd SQUEALS.
Taffie: Oh my God! Are you SICK!
Taffie runs across the room and wraps their arms around you tightly.
Taffie: Leanne take me away from all of this!
You: You see? That's the thing...I'm...well, I'm married...
The crowd does its bit.
Taffie: Married?
You nod.
Taffie: Who the hell are you married to? When...when did this happen? I don't understand!
You: The other day. In Vegas. I'm married to Mark.
Louise: (screaming) WHAT!!!
Jerry: (grinning widely, makes an enquiry) So...did you have a nice wedding night?
Mark: (stepping back out onto center stage) Well we had sex 13 times if that's what you mean.
The crowd squeals.
Jerry: Okay, okay. So let me get this all straight... Leanne is married to Mark who Louise has secretly been in love with for years and years. Now Louise has recently become engaged to Taffie who was recently spotted kissing Leanne in the Coffee Shop. Now on top of this Amy has just admitted to being in a sexual relationship with Louise.
Mark: That's right Jerry.
Jerry: (looking sternly into the camera) It is times like these that one has to wonder, whether or not these people are aware that they are quite clinically insane. Perhaps we should be spending more on psychiatric health funds in this country, perhaps we should just ban Vegas to cut down on impulse marriages. Perhaps I should get a new job. Thanks for watching folks it's been great but for now...it's goodnight.
Queue cheesy background music and fade to black.
Leanne x
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