If you had asked me a year ago if I had regrets, I would have said yes I do. If you were to ask me that same question today... I know I dont have as many regrets as I thought I did. I know, and I'm not going to go in to it, that I did somethings I'm not particularly proud of but I dont regret them! I have learnt from my mistakes. I have grown from them. I understand so much more about life now than I did then. For example I now know that intensions, even if you have the best of them, dont actually mean anything. You could intend to make the world a better place.. intend to solve world hunger. But unless you actually physically do it, then it means nothing.
I know I've hurt people in my past. I wish I hadnt. But some of them, one in particular is an amazing person. Maybe the person I hurt the most was a guy who, at one time would have said I loved, I realise now it wasnt love. It was infatuation. I liked what he was not who he was. Thats something that suprises me as I normally go for personality! It taught me alot though if im honest. Trust. For one thing.
I remember a conversation between myself and my best friend. She was the girl who was afraid of comitment. I was the one who wanted comitment. Then we both went through relationships. Both of us got hurt. We went out to get drunk and I found myself hating comitment and she wanting nothing but. Roles reversed I guess. I think the one thing that always kind of new was in me was that deep down I didnt trust anyone like that. Romantically I mean. I know now I dont really fully trust anyone romantically.
I guess its true what they say, the past is what makes you who you are in the present and even help shape you in the future!
Leanne x
